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Sorrow, grief and faith!

Assalam - O - Alaikum,

I am writing this question after much tiredness, confusion and depression. Alhamdolilah i am a Muslim, in soul and mind, i am blessed with strong faith and true teachings of Islam. Although i have a long way to be able to call myself a Momin; but to my capacity and knowledge i try to follow the path of the righteous, i pray and practice my religion to my best possible efforts.

I know whatever befall upon us is to test us, to ensure we are on the right path and last but not the least to keep us believing Allah is there to help and guide us…or may be its just a punishment. But these few months had been very tough on me.....i lost my mother in a matter of weeks, the one person who truly understood me and helped and shaped me to whatever i am today. Composing myself and moving on was very difficult, but yet with Allah's blessings i did. Then my life took a sharp turn and my family decided to get me married to somebody, everything was going very smoothly, istikharas were all ok, the family and the person were also very good. Although initially it was difficult for me to accept this sudden and speedy pace of the matter but i surrendered; hoping this is nothing but a sure sign from Allah….as to how to move on and start a new chapter in my life.

And then out of blue complications took over and the whole thing was called off....at a time when i was really starting to feel content and realized although it came to me quite late but surely He has blessed me.

Today, i am just standing nowhere, i don’t understand why??? I am still with strong faith that Allah protected me from something that i am unaware of, he saved me.....I am still unmarried and waiting for the one he has chosen for me. But i guess in the end i am just a human, ....flesh and blood.... i am a bit shaky, i want a signal, i don’t wanna end up going to fortune tellers and other such nonsense....but yes i am getting restless. I wanna cry for no reason, i want to know is Allah angry, did i do something wrong, am i so bad???? I wanna be strong, i wanna move on.....i just want to forget, but now i am too afraid....too afraid to even imagine what if it happens again, what if it happens again, what if i fall for the wrong person, and if everything is destined to happen then why do we even try?? Why are we so restless? Please help me, is there any dua or prayer i need to make to let my heart be at peace. Please guide me…

Jazakalah Khair!