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issues

As salaamu alaikum all:

I've been going through a lot of issues lately and I just need a place to vent I suppose. I may or may not be around much after this post even; I just asked Sheikh Google where I could find a forum for converts to Islam and, after sorting through the shia links, stumbled upon this one.

At any rate, like I stated above, I've been going through lots of issues. Not with my family really. Although there have been some issues since I converted, they have generally been accepting of me, alhamdulillah. I had some friends abandon me, but I guess I used my shahadah as the furqan to determine who my true friends really were.

My issues are with the community at large. I love Islam but have very little patience with muslims. I had the normal issues once I converted (i.e. the jamaat trying to turn me into an Arab or Pakistani and when I didn't, leaving me to teach myself the deen) but I was able to get through that, alhamdulillah.

The most insulted and embarrassed I have even been in my life has been now that I am trying to get married. It is absolutely unbelievable the things I have to deal with. I mean, it took some time but the uncles finally think its ok to pray next to me but astaughfirullah if I ask about marrying their daughters.

I have even had my Islam questioned, like I am not a real muslim because I am white.

There are some sisters that are interested in me but it never works out due to the above or because my knowledge of the deen isn't as strong as they'd like (sorry, if I had a teacher I wouldn't be in this problem).

I don't mean to sound unappreciative of or like I do not acknowledge the mercy of Allah but a lot of this is just ridiculous. Islam in books is mashaAllah. Islam in the masaajid is aoudhibillah.

Make dua for me.